


Michael (and Rich) in the Bathroom

by blue_wind_gets_so_sad



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Blood and Injury, Gen, Jeremy is clueless, Michael tries to warn him, Panic Attack, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, but does he listen, but he sure does try, expensive headphones if you squint, gender neutral pronouns for Squip, no he doesn't, rich doesn't set fire to the house, squip is human, there's lyric and script usage in this piece of shit, they're an abusive asshole as always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-16 14:04:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13637778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_wind_gets_so_sad/pseuds/blue_wind_gets_so_sad
Summary: Michael was in the bathroom…alone. Why was he alone? Good question. ||OR|| Rich just wanted some friends. What did he get? An abusive "helper" and a lit match in his hand.





	1. Michael's Friend's Brother's Whatever

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the tags, there will be a suicide attempt and/or suicidal thoughts. There is also a panic attack being depicted and mention of abuse. Proceed with caution. Also, you don't really need to read the first chapter, I don't think. It's just an introduction kind of outlining what's throwing down with Michael and Jeremy, but a few things are changed due to Squip being human. It also gives background on Human!Squip.

                Michael was in the bathroom…alone. Why was he alone? Good question.  Jeremy Heere is- well, _was_ \- his best friend of many, many, many years. They did everything together and they never kept secrets, but Jeremy was so willing to wash all of this down the drain because of another person. The new kid. They were a senior and it was obvious that they could squash Michael in a heartbeat. Their name was some stupid shit along the lines of, “Sinclair Quinn Umber Idris Pierce.” Michael was so aggravated by them that even their stupid name set his teeth on edge. If that wasn’t stupid enough, everyone calls them “Squip.” Now, Michael figured Jeremy would do his best to stay away from the person, but the exact opposite happened. Jeremy was the first person they met.

                Squip was in no way anything like Michael or Jeremy. They were serious, sophisticated, and an entire ass and a half. They were immediately taken in by the popular clique and Michael was kind of thankful, until he realized that Jeremy then had a connection. Michael was fine with being unpopular, but it always bothered Jeremy.  He had his path to popularity. Michael was fine with it at first. He was completely fine. The issue arose when Jeremy started ignoring him. It started out as just, “Sorry, man, but I can’t make it tonight.” Then, it escalated into completely pretending he didn’t exist.

                There Michael sat in the bathtub at Jake Dillinger’s Halloween party. He was definitely _not_ invited, but he discovered some disturbing information that he had to get through to Jeremy. He was trying to work up the courage to go find Jeremy when the man himself nearly lunged into the bathroom and collapsed against the side of the bathtub. Michael got an idea and put a hand over his mouth to cover up his snickering as he reached out his costumed hand to grab Jeremy’s shoulder. The twink automatically jumped up and screamed.

                “Sup,” Michael said. “Michael? I didn’t know you were invited to this party.” Jeremy replied, still trying to catch his breath. “I wasn’t, which is why I’m wearing…this clever disguise!” Jeremy simply stared at him and stayed silent. “You’re speechless. Squip got your tongue?” Michael scoffed. “They’re…not here.” Michael rolled his eyes and climbed out of the bathtub. “That would explain why you’re talking to me. I’ve been thinking about this moment. What I would say to you? I had this really pissed off monologue, an epic journey through twelve years of friendship…what?” Michael cut off his speech to question a smiling Jeremy. “It’s really good to see you, man.”

                “It won’t be once you hear what I found out.” Jeremy raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Found out?” “About…” Michael trailed off, opting to start writing the letters in the air with his finger. “How? They’re nowhere on social media-“ “Which is weird, right? I mean, who isn’t on social media? So, I started asking around. Finally, this guy I play Warcraft with told me how his brother went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard. You know where he is now?”  It was Jeremy’s turn to roll his eyes. “Really happy and successful?” “He’s in a rehab center.” “I don’t see what that has to do with-“ “Think, man! We’re talking an insanely powerful person. You really think their primary function is to make you _cool_? Where did they come from? How did they end up in a high school in New Jersey? Of all possible people to be friends with, you ever wonder why they’re friends with you?” Jeremy scowled at the boy in front of him. Michael honestly felt bad for saying it, but it was the truth, and Jeremy kind of deserved it.

                “And I thought Chloe was jealous.” A look of disbelief coated Michael’s features. “I’m honestly asking!” “Really? Because I think you’re pissed they’re friends with me and not you!” “Come on-“ “Maybe I got lucky. Is that so weird? With my history, I’d say the universe owed me one. And, I don’t know about your friend’s brother’s whatever, but if you’re telling me that Squip made him crazy-“ “Squip didn’t make him crazy.” “Oh. Well, there you go.” “Squip abused him!” They were in each other’s faces at this point. “I’ve got nothing to worry about. They aren’t abusive to me.” Jeremy moved to go to the door, but Michael stepped in the way. “Move it,” Jeremy growled. “Or you’ll what?” Michael dared. “Get out of my way,” Jeremy shoved Michael, “loser.” Michael’s eyes widened and his anger melted away. He hung his head down and shuffled out of the way. Jeremy threw the door open then walked out, slamming it shut behind him.

               


	2. I Can't Help But Yearn For A Different Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Jeremy leaving Michael alone in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got kind of extreme very quickly. Mentions of blood and self-harm/self-inflicted violence. Panic attack.

                “I’m hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall. Wow. Go me.” Michael mumbled into his hands. _You could stay right here or disappear and nobody’d even notice at all_. The voice in his head sounded like Jeremy. “Sh-Shut up.” Michael’s heart rate began to increase. _Everything felt fine when you were half of a pair, Michael. Now, there’s no other half there. You’re alone._ “It isn’t my fault.” _Look at you. You’re a pitiful child. I wonder how long it’s been. Someone has to be looking for you…oh, wait._ “Stop…p-please.” Michael’s hands went up to his hair and he began to tug on it. It took him a few moments to notice the knocking on the door. “No, you can’t come in!” He shouted. _No one knows you here. You’re alone. Pitiful._ “Stop c-calling me that! I’m not…I’m…” _You’re pitiful. Pathetic even. Soon, his memories will be erased and you’ll get replaced by me._ The voice transitioned into Squip’s. “Get out of my head!”

                A voice came through the door and distracted Michael from his thoughts. It was a girl singing along to Whitney. It reminded him of all the times he and Jeremy would sit around making fun of drunk girls and the idiotic things they would do. _There’s no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore, Michael. Oh, look. Now you’re crying. What if someone comes in? What if someone notices?_ “I’ll just wait until my face is d-dry.” _Oh yeah? You’ll end up passing out in here if you wait that long._ “I-I’ll blame it on weed or something in my eye!” _Mhmm. Good luck with that._ “Breathe, breathe, breathe. I need to breathe. I-I-I can’t breathe!” Michael clutched at his chest and released a strangled cry. Tears mixed with sweat as he writhed in the bathtub, crying for help. He began to hit his head against the tiled wall and it became difficult to differentiate between the banging on the door and the banging of his head. All he had to do was stand up and leave, but the door was so far away at this point. ‘God, w-why can’t I j-just get up!?”

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

“Oh god, they’re gonna start to sh-shout soon.”

_Knock, knock, knock, knock._

“Ah, hell yeah, I’ll be out soon!”

**_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_ **

“It sucks you left me here alone-”

**_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK_ **

“-here in this teenage battle zone!”

**_CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG_ **

“I feel the pressure blowing up!”

**_BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG_ **

“My big mistake was showing up!”

                Michael managed to stand up, even though he still couldn’t breathe properly. As soon as he put his hand on the doorknob, he noticed that he didn’t hear knocking anymore. He pulled his hand back and looked at himself in the mirror. He was a wreck. His glasses were askew on his face, his hair was tangled, his entire face was wet with tears and sweat, and he could feel blood trickling down his neck from where he was banging his head on the wall.  “I’m just…Michael in the bathroom. Is there a sadder sight? This is a heinous night. “ He began to fix his hair and his face, but it didn’t do anything when another wave of panic set in. “I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable porn…or…or… ** _I wish I offed myself instead, wish I was never born!_** ” He screamed at his reflection. “I’m just Michael who’s a loner, so he must be a stoner!” He whipped around and collapsed against the wall in front of him. “Rides a PT Cruiser, **_God,_** he’s such a loser!” He punched the wall with a shaky fist, then tangled it in his hair and pulled, ripping some of it out in the process.  _All they know about you is your name_. “All they know about me is my name. Awesome party, I’m so glad I came.” He lost all of his energy, stumbled to the right until he got back to the bathtub, and fell in.


	3. Everything About Me Makes Me Wanna Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how Rich met Squip and how they influenced him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicide attempts. Abuse.

                Rich never wanted this. He just wanted some friends. What did he get? An abusive "helper" and a lit match in his hand. He didn’t start out as a popular kid. Rich was always picked on and bullied, one of the common losers. He faced the brutality of the cooler students every day of his life and he came so close to ending it multiple times. However, something would always pull him back. He didn’t really have friends and his father wasn’t the best, so he had no one to live for. Maybe it was the thought that one day it’ll be better? “One day” was so far away, though. He would keep telling himself to just hang in for a couple more years. _A couple more years, then you’ll be out of here, Rich._

                His hopeful thinking didn’t last long. He had just finished taping his suicide note to the bridge railing when someone came up behind him. “Hello?” He questioned. “What are you doing?” The person answered his question with a question. “Suicide. What else would I be doing with a note and a bridge?” His lisp was prominent and his tone was laced with hopelessness. “Why are you doing this?” “Might I ask who you are and why it’s any of your business whether I kill myself or not?” The person’s eyes narrowed slightly and they smirked in amusement. “Fair enough. I’m Sinclair Quinn Umber Idris Pierce. Squip for short.” They gave a dramatic bow. “You didn’t answer my other question, Squip.” Rich turned back around and hoisted himself up to where he was standing on the railing. “Neither did you.” “You answer mine and I’ll answer yours.” “It is technically not any of my business.” “So, why do you care?” “Ah, ah, ah. You have to answer my question.”

                Rich sighed and responded, “I’m a loser. I’m hopeless, utterly helpless. Good times soar by. I’m gross. Girls don’t even acknowledge my existence, and if they do, it’s to make fun of me. Every time I walk the hall I trip. I’m stagnant and idle. I’m just…so suicidal.” “I can assist.” Rich scoffed. “Yeah, I highly doubt that. What are you, 20-something?” “I’m a senior. Just moved here.” “So, you haven’t gotten the high-quality treatment of the high school. What makes you think you’ll be popular here?” “You poor soul, …” “Rich.” “Look at me, Rich. I’m charismatic, sophisticated, muscular, and I have a silver tongue. I can claw my way up to the top of the food chain the minute I step foot into the building.” “I’m just supposed to believe you can help me?” “Whether you believe me or not is all on you, but I am being honest in saying that I can help you. I’m a person of my word.” “Mhmm.” “Let’s strike a deal, shall we, Rich? If you step off of the railing and onto the safety of the bridge, I will assist you in becoming popular and cool. I will lead you every inch of the way. No more bullies, no more tripping going down the hallway. Girls will do more than just talk to you and you will _never_ have the urge to put yourself in a position such as this one again.”

                “I…I’ll be cool? People will like me?” Rich’s voice cracked a bit as he cautiously turned around. “No. People will _love_ you. They’ll envy you. You will be the predator, not the prey. Take the upgrade, Rich.” Squip resisted the urge to give him an evil smirk, instead holding their hand out in front of them for Rich to seal the deal. Rich glanced behind him at would be his demise, then turned his attention back to Squip. He hopped down and looked up at Squip, shaking his hand. “Good. We’ll start with that lisp of yours.”

                Squip wasn’t to start school until the next semester, which was about a month away, but it still gave them plenty of time to “train” Rich after school. It started off as stern commands when Rich would do something wrong, but it quickly escalated into Squip physically harming him. They would slap, punch, and/or kick him when he did something such as slouch or speak with his lisp. But, Rich couldn’t complain. He was already climbing up the ranks and it seemed as if he’d be popular in no time. He didn’t really like Squip for obvious reasons, but they were helping him, and that was good enough.

                There Rich stood at the bar at Jake Dillinger’s Halloween party. He was _definitely_ invited, but he didn’t really want to be there. He enjoyed drinking and partying, sure, but he just didn’t feel like himself around these people. At least they weren’t pushing him around anymore. He had just downed his third cup of beer when he spotted Squip barreling towards him. _Oh god, what did I do wrong this time?_ Squip reached him and wrapped a hand around his throat, pinning him to the wall. “How dare you talk about me behind my back, Richard? I practically _made_ you, and then you go off spouting nonsense to our friends about me being abusive. You committed to this deal the day you decided to not jump off that bridge. If you don’t like how I teach, do me a favor and just- actually, no. Do us _all_ a favor and just end it.” They gave Rich a strong punch to the gut before releasing their grip and storming off.

                Rich collapsed to the ground, clutching his stomach. “Hey, man. You alright?” Jake asked over the loud music. “Oh, yeah. Just a little sick. The bathroom is that way, right?” Rich responded, trying to mask the pain. “Yeah, dude. Have fun.” “Heh. Unlikely.” Rich pushed himself up off of the floor with his free hand, one still wrapped around his stomach. On the way to the bathroom, he noticed a matchbox on a table and snatched it up without anyone noticing. “Hello?” He called through the door. No answer. He tried again. No answer. He sighed before placing the matchbox in his pocket and opting to pick the lock, a talent he learned when he needed to escape angry jocks. When he got in, he quickly entered and relocked the door. The bathroom was empty (or so it seemed), so he figured that someone must have accidentally locked it when they left. “C’mon, it’s gotta be in here somewhere…found it!” He rummaged around in the cabinets until he found what he was looking for: rubbing alcohol. Once it dries, all of the alcohol has evaporated and it’s useless, but when it hasn’t evaporated…oh boy. All he knew was that he had no time to lose. Rich poured the entire bottle out on the floor, then immediately struck a match and tossed it.

 

 

“No!”


	4. Mike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did Rich set the fire? The world may never know...(just kidding. read it and you'll find out.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentioned head injury. Blood mention. Crying. Lots of it. Some very creative swears. This one's a shorter one.

Michael awoke to the unmistakable odor of rubbing alcohol. His head was killing him and the scent wasn’t making it any better. However, the pain was soon forgotten as soon as he heard the sound of the match against the matchbox. “No!” He exclaimed as he threw open the shower curtain and lunged forward. With ninja-like reflexes, he smacked the match out of its path and it thankfully landed in the toilet. “What the hell, fuckass!?” Rich shouted. Michael abruptly stood up in the bathtub. “I could ask you the same thing, shitcock! What are you trying to fucking do, kill us?” Rich froze up and cast his gaze downward. Squip would have made him reply with an insult or something damaging to Michael, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it, especially when he saw the state that Michael was in. “O-Oh…oh. Oh, Rich.” Michael felt a pang of guilt for what he said, even though Rich has done far worse to him before. “Don’t ‘oh, Rich’ me, Mell.” He tried to sound tough, but his voice came out small and quiet.

                When Rich looked back up, Michael was standing there with his arms open wide. Rich has tortured this guy for months and there he was inviting him for a hug. He avoided the large puddle of alcohol on the floor and joined Michael in the bathtub, wrapping his arms around Michael’s body. Michael wrapped his arms around Rich’s much smaller structure with no hesitation. After a few seconds, Rich completely broke down. He gripped the back of Michael’s shirt in his fists and cried into his chest. Michael tried to keep his shit together, but he lost it. Both boys stood there in Jake Dillinger’s bathtub and sobbed into each other’s bodies. It honestly felt good for them both, because Michael was longing for someone to just comfort him, and Rich hadn’t been allowed to cry like that for _months_. Eventually, they parted and just stood there. That was when Rich noticed the blood splatter on the wall.

                “Michael? Are you bleeding?” “Not…anymore.” “What the hell did you do!?” “Ah, don’t start yelling at me now, my head is killing me.” “Did you do something to your- Michael.” “I’m sorry, I was just really stressed and anxious and panicky and I couldn’t breathe and-” Rich shut him up by going in for another hug. “You know I’m going to take you to the hospital, right?” “I know.” “Your system better be clear, just in case they check.” “Ha. Not likely.” “You’re a dork, Mike.” Michael suddenly pulled away and Rich opened his mouth to apologize, but Michael joked, “Wow, we just got together and you already have a pet name for me?” “Idiot.” Rich chuckled and shook his head. They both clambered out of the bathtub and somehow maneuvered themselves out of the house without being seen by the main people they wanted to avoid. “Rich…there’s not many people I trust to drive my Cruiser. Actually, there’s only one per- yeah, never mind. If the circumstances were different, I’d be driving, but I know how unpredictable head injuries are and I don’t want to fuck up my car. So…” Michael fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them to Rich. “I feel so loved.” Rich teased.


	5. Hospital Policy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rich takes Michael to the hospital, but something is waiting for them when they get home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Swearing. Hints toward abuse, but not full on mentions it. Also, I'm not a doctor or a med student. I did my research, but I probably still didn't get things right.

                “You’re lucky you weren’t hit harder than this, Mr. Mell. Further damage could’ve damaged your skull and that definitely wouldn’t have been good. How did you say this happened again?” The doctor was gingerly observing the back of Michael’s head. “I was, uh, walking home from a party. Some dude- didn’t get a good look at him- came by and demanded money, and when I told him I didn’t have any he slammed my head against the side of a building.” Michael lied. “And how do you filter into the equation?” The doctor questioned Rich suspiciously. “I was going home from the same party and I saw him lying on the ground, so I checked to see if he was okay.” “What about that bruise on your abdomen, Mr. Goranski?”  Rich’s eyes widened and he subconsciously moved his tank top down past his waist. When he didn’t respond, the doctor added, “I noticed it when you stretched earlier.” “Some douche at the party just punched me.” “Are you sure?” “I swear. Honest. Cross my heart.” It was the truth…a white-washed version.

                “Well, a little bit of ice should help with that bruise. And, Mr. Mell, today’s your lucky day. It bled quite a bit, as most head injuries do, but, like I said earlier, it’s not too bad. You will need stitches, though.” “Ah, man, I thought you said it was my lucky day.” Michael joked. “You’ll be fine. It’s not as bad as it sounds, believe me.” The doctor responded with a small smile. With that, she left the room. “Is that what actually happened? The bruise?” Michael asked. “Kind of, yeah. I deserved it, though.” Rich cast his gaze to his feet and started toying with the hem of his shirt. “What did you do?” Before he could answer, the doctor came back in with a wheelchair. “ _I’ll tell you later_.” Rich mouthed. “A wheelchair?” Michael tilted his head. “It’s hospital policy.” She responded, almost before Michael could get the question out. “Have fun!” Rich waved at him. “Kiss my ass.”

***

                “Must I be rolled out?” Michael tilted his head back to look up at Rich, who was wheeling him across the parking lot. “Doc said it was hospital policy. It’s probably because if people fall on the premises, the hospital will have to pay for it…what?” Rich noticed Michael staring at him with a huge grin on his face. “It feels so weird looking up at you.” “Oh, eat a dick!” “Gladly.” “Gay ass.” “How’d you guess my middle name?” They both burst out in laughter and Rich had to stop walking for a few seconds in order to catch his breath. “Why was that so funny to us?” Michael asked as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I’m fuckin’ sleep deprived as shit, man. I don’t know about you.” “Big mood.”

                “What does that mean?” Rich questioned. “You don’t know what ‘big mood’ means? Oh, dude, it’s one of the latest meme phrases. It-” “Ah.” Rich stopped when they got to Michael’s PT Cruiser and let the other boy get in the car himself. “What, you got something against memes?” Michael chuckled. “Not…exactly. I’m going to go put this back. Don’t wander off, alright?” Rich turned and wandered off quickly to return the wheelchair. _That was…strange_ , Michael thought. When Rich returned and climbed into the driver’s seat, he looked distant. “Do you know Squip? Who am I kidding, everyone knows them.” Rich kept his gaze straightforward. “I’m not very fond of them,” Michael replied through clenched teeth. “Good.” Rich started up the car and drove off.

                “You can stay over at my house for the night. We can play video games, get stoned, and talk about all of our feelings and shit.” Michael proposed as they exited the parking lot. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother or anything.” “A bother? Why would you think that?” “I just, uh…which way to your house?” Rich totally avoided the question and even though Michael noticed, he didn’t question it. “Take a left, then a right, then just keep going straight. I’ll tell you which one is mine.” “Alrighty.”

                “It’s that one.” Rich nodded and pulled up in the driveway. Both of them got out and strolled up to the front door, but Michael froze and looked to the right. “You okay?” Rich inquired, but he saw what Michael was looking at a few seconds later. It was Jeremy Heere walking to his own house down the street with the one and only Squip. When Squip noticed the boys staring, they threw an arm around Jeremy’s shoulder and Jeremy started laughing at something that might not even have been said. “Jesus. They’re like an annoying couple o-O-ver there.” Rich hoped Michael didn’t notice his voice crack, but it was obvious that Michael’s mind was elsewhere. His entire body was shaking and his shoulders frantically moved up and down as he tried to breathe correctly. “Mike? Michael, what’s wrong?” Rich moved to where he stood in front of Michael. He realized what was happening when Michael didn’t acknowledge him.

                “O-Oh god. I don’t know what to do.” He exhaled. “Just, uh…breathe?” Michael still didn’t know he was there. “Shit, shit, shit. Uh…” Rich hesitantly reached out and put his hand on Michael’s arm. The contact caused Michael to snap out of it and look down at Rich. “R-Rich?” He croaked. “Hey, buddy. It’s me. It’s Rich.” Michael whimpered and threw himself into him, causing him to stumble back a bit, but he didn’t lose his balance. “I-It hurts s-so bad.” Michael cried. “I know it does. We’ll figure this out, alright? You and me. I know I’ve done some pretty shitty things to you in the past, and there’s a valid reason for that, but I’m going to help you this time. We’ll show that 5-named fucker who’s boss. It won’t get rid of the physical and emotional scars, but we might just be able to help protect other people from them. You and me. You aren’t alone.”


	6. The Real Richard Goranski

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richey and Mikey tell each other about their situations, then make plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight violence, swearing.

                 “No…way. I can’t believe this.” Michael gaped at his TV and let his controller fall out of his hands. They _just_ got to level nine of Apocalypse of the Damned and Rich was the main reason they passed it. “It wasn’t that hard, Mike,” Rich responded with a chuckle. ‘“It wasn’t that’- Jeremy and I- We-” He was about to state how long they had been trying to finish the level, but cut himself off and slumped in the bean bag chair. “That’s what was wrong with me if you couldn’t tell.” He whispered. Rich figured that’s what it was as soon as the situation outside occurred, but he acted like he didn’t know. “Jeremy?” Michael nodded. “I tried to warn him about Squip. He wouldn’t listen. H-He said that Squip wasn’t abusive to him so it didn’t matter. He thought I was jealous!” “That’s bullshit!” “Exactly! And then he called me a loser!” “Oh, dude, that’s cold.” “The word itself doesn’t bother me, but it was more the fact that it was coming from _him_ as an _insult_. Then, he pushed me. He pushed me! All I tried to do was help him, but he wouldn’t fucking listen! No one ever listens to me! I try so hard to care about people and warn them because I just get this gut feeling that something is wrong and I always end up being right! People get fucking hurt, then they come to _me_ crying, but who cares about Michael? No one gives a **_fuck about Michael Mell the loser!_** ” Michael ended up standing up and pacing as he ranted on, and he was screaming by the time he finished. “ ** _Gah!_** ” He exclaimed as he punched the wall.

                 “I’m…I’m sorry about that. I don’t usually act out like that.” Michael flung himself back down in his beanbag chair. “No, it’s fine. It’s not good to keep in your emotions. If you don’t mind me asking…what exactly happened in the bathroom?” Rich responded, genuinely curious, but still not wanting to cross any boundaries. “Panic attack. I, uh, get them…a lot.” Here he was spilling his feelings to his bully. He was telling him things that it would usually take weeks or months for him to tell Jeremy. He felt some sort of connection to Rich, and he had no idea why, but he was about to. “What about you? Why was the famous Richard Goranski about to set fire to Jake Dillinger’s house?”

                “Squip told me to kill myself, so that’s what I planned to do.” Rich shrugged. “They _what_?” Michael’s eyes widened. “I don’t know where you figured out about Squip being abusive, but you’re right. I was- God, this is exhausting. You won’t make fun of me, will you?” Michael furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. Rich hesitated, then continued, this time not even trying to cover up his lisp. “I was planning to kill myself one night. I had the note prepared and everything. I was standing on top of the railing of that bridge that heads out of town when they walked up to me. It was a few months before they started school. They promised they could make me cool. They promised that they could stop the torment and I believed them. I just didn’t realize that it would involve me tormenting others. I’m not saying I was totally innocent, though. I did agree to the deal in the first place, and I could’ve stopped at any given time.” Rich fiddled with his hands in his lap as he spoke. “Did they hit you?” Rich nodded. “When you would do something wrong?” He nodded again.

                “I understand. I mean, I don’t understand how it feels, but I understand why you did it. They offered to take the pain away. I would probably be in the same position if I didn’t get such a bad vibe from them. I don’t really care about being popular or anything, but it would be nice to get rid of the pain.” Michael stated. “It still doesn’t make it better. I never liked hurting you guys. I’m really sorry.” “Hey, it’s okay. We are kind of fucked up from it, but it’s chill. You realize what you did wrong and that’s the important part. However, it’s also important not to take the blame. That fucker is also at fault and, like you said, we’ll take them down together. We’ll protect our friends and the rest of the school. We can protect everyone. W-We can press charges!” The realization hit Michael and he shot up out of his bean bag. “As much as I like that idea, what if I get in trouble, too?” Rich replied, a bit less enthusiastic. “We’ll make sure you don’t. You said it yourself; they were hurting you if you wouldn’t do it. If we can just prove it, you should be fine. Besides, once we save everyone, maybe they’ll all be the slightest bit thankful and do you a huge solid.” Rich laughed at Michael’s vigor.

                “Do you think we’ll all be friends when this is all over and done with?” Rich questioned. “I don’t know. We could be. We might go back to our predator vs prey lifestyle and then flip it entirely when we get to college. Part of me wants it to stay the same, just because I don’t like sudden change, but I also want it to change, y’know?” Michael answered. “Yeah, I understand.” They both sat there in comfortable silence for the next few minutes before Rich spoke up. “When this is over, the ladies are gonna learn to love the real Richard Goranski…and the dudes. Oh my god, I’m totally bi!” The boys gasped at the same time, high-fived, and exclaimed, “Yes!” “Oh, dude, forget doing that when this is all over. I’m doing it now! Come on!” Rich jumped up and nearly sprinted out of the basement with Michael in tow. They both hopped in the Cruiser, Michael driving this time. “Where are we going?” He questioned, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “We need three things, Mikey Mell. Hair dye, pride shit, and even more pride shit.” “To the mall it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious, here's what they got at the magical nonexistent pride store at the mall:
> 
> Michael: https://www.polyvore.com/michael_pride_haul/set?id=235381220  
> Rich: https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=235382977
> 
> Also, they used the hair dye to put rainbow streaks in Michael's hair and they turned Rich's red stripe into the bi colors. 
> 
> (Yes, that eye makeup is supposed to be in Rich's haul. The man's all about pride. Leave him be.)


End file.
